Dave Barry

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was read more

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about any wacky thing they tell read more

We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about any wacky thing they tell us, especially if it involves outer space.

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how read more

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the read more

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using read more

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.