W. C. Fields

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about read more

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad.

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a read more

How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?