Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real read more

You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.

Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.

With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.

There's the humour of it.

There's the humour of it.

I bet when the neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick, read more

I bet when the neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick, heavy brows." Then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. read more

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.