Mynheer Vandunck, though he never was drunk,
Sipped brandy and water gayly.

Mynheer Vandunck, though he never was drunk,
Sipped brandy and water gayly.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Nothing in Nature's sober found,
But an eternal Health goes round.
Fill up the Bowl then, fill read more

Nothing in Nature's sober found,
But an eternal Health goes round.
Fill up the Bowl then, fill it high--
Fill all the Glasses there; for why
Should every Creature Drink but I?
Why, Man of Morals, tell me why?

Inebriate of air am I,
And debauchee of dew,
Reeling, through endless summer days,
read more

Inebriate of air am I,
And debauchee of dew,
Reeling, through endless summer days,
From inns of molten blue.

This is the artist, then, life's hungry man, the glutton of eternity, beauty's miser, glory's slave.

This is the artist, then, life's hungry man, the glutton of eternity, beauty's miser, glory's slave.

Drinking will make a man quaff,
Quaffing will make a man sing,
Singing will make a man read more

Drinking will make a man quaff,
Quaffing will make a man sing,
Singing will make a man laugh,
And laughing long life doth bring,
Says old Simon the King.
- Unattributed Author, Old Sir Simon the King,

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants