Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.