Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.