Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.