Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

Sacred cows make the best hamburger