Sacred cows make the best hamburger

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.