Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.