Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.