Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.