It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.

It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.

And whether you're an honest man, or whether you're a thief, Depends on whose solicitor has given me my brief.

And whether you're an honest man, or whether you're a thief, Depends on whose solicitor has given me my brief.

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers.

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers.

Lawyers are like morticians. We all need one sooner or later, but better later than sooner.

Lawyers are like morticians. We all need one sooner or later, but better later than sooner.

Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it.

Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it.

It is unfair to believe everything we hear about lawyers. Some of it might not be true.

It is unfair to believe everything we hear about lawyers. Some of it might not be true.

To some lawyers, all facts are created equal.

To some lawyers, all facts are created equal.

The trouble with law is lawyers.

The trouble with law is lawyers.

In cross-examination, as in fishing, nothing is more ungainly than a fisherman pulled into the water by his catch.

In cross-examination, as in fishing, nothing is more ungainly than a fisherman pulled into the water by his catch.