Lawyers are like morticians. We all need one sooner or later, but better later than sooner.

Lawyers are like morticians. We all need one sooner or later, but better later than sooner.

It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.

It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.

I never saw a lawyer yet who would admit he was making money.

I never saw a lawyer yet who would admit he was making money.

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger.

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger.

And whether you're an honest man, or whether you're a thief, Depends on whose solicitor has given me my brief.

And whether you're an honest man, or whether you're a thief, Depends on whose solicitor has given me my brief.

A good lawyer is a bad neighbor.

A good lawyer is a bad neighbor.

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers.

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers.

God works wonders now and then; Behold a lawyer, an honest man.

God works wonders now and then; Behold a lawyer, an honest man.

Self-defense is the clearest of all laws, and for this reason: lawyers didn't make it.

Self-defense is the clearest of all laws, and for this reason: lawyers didn't make it.