It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.

It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.

Lawyers are like morticians. We all need one sooner or later, but better later than sooner.

Lawyers are like morticians. We all need one sooner or later, but better later than sooner.

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers.

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers.

Self-defense is the clearest of all laws, and for this reason: lawyers didn't make it.

Self-defense is the clearest of all laws, and for this reason: lawyers didn't make it.

God works wonders now and then; Behold a lawyer, an honest man.

God works wonders now and then; Behold a lawyer, an honest man.

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger.

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger.

Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it.

Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it.

A good lawyer is a bad neighbor.

A good lawyer is a bad neighbor.

And whether you're an honest man, or whether you're a thief, Depends on whose solicitor has given me my brief.

And whether you're an honest man, or whether you're a thief, Depends on whose solicitor has given me my brief.