It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.

It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.

A lawyer's dream of heaven: every man reclaimed his property at the resurrection, and each tried to recover it from read more

A lawyer's dream of heaven: every man reclaimed his property at the resurrection, and each tried to recover it from all his forefathers.

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger.

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger.

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers.

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers.

I never saw a lawyer yet who would admit he was making money.

I never saw a lawyer yet who would admit he was making money.

A good lawyer is a bad neighbor.

A good lawyer is a bad neighbor.

Lawyers are like morticians. We all need one sooner or later, but better later than sooner.

Lawyers are like morticians. We all need one sooner or later, but better later than sooner.

And whether you're an honest man, or whether you're a thief, Depends on whose solicitor has given me my brief.

And whether you're an honest man, or whether you're a thief, Depends on whose solicitor has given me my brief.

Young lawyers attend the courts, not because they have business there, but because they have no business anywhere else.

Young lawyers attend the courts, not because they have business there, but because they have no business anywhere else.