I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like read more

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon them.

Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon them.

Parents: persons who spend half their time worrying how a child will turn out, and the rest of the time read more

Parents: persons who spend half their time worrying how a child will turn out, and the rest of the time wondering when a child will turn in.

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

The woman is the home. That's where she used to be, and that's where she still is. You might ask read more

The woman is the home. That's where she used to be, and that's where she still is. You might ask me, What if a man tries to be part of the home -- will the woman let him? I answer yes. Because then he becomes one of the children.

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on.

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on.

Want him to be more of a man? Try being more of a woman!

Want him to be more of a man? Try being more of a woman!

There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature.

There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature.