I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.

Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.

It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.

It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.

Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with read more

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her.

The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.

The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.

Only a few human beings should grow to the square mile; they are commonly planted too close.

Only a few human beings should grow to the square mile; they are commonly planted too close.

The woman is the home. That's where she used to be, and that's where she still is. You might ask read more

The woman is the home. That's where she used to be, and that's where she still is. You might ask me, What if a man tries to be part of the home -- will the woman let him? I answer yes. Because then he becomes one of the children.

The most expensive wedding usually ends with the quickest divorce.

The most expensive wedding usually ends with the quickest divorce.