Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the read more

When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims of intact ones.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

Marriage isn't a word... it's a sentence.

Marriage isn't a word... it's a sentence.

Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing they read more

Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing they die earlier.

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind read more

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".

Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like what read more

Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like what you are getting.

There is no kind of harassment that a man may not inflict on a woman with impunity in civilized societies.

There is no kind of harassment that a man may not inflict on a woman with impunity in civilized societies.