Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

Such a wife as I want... must be young, handsome I lay most stress upon a good shape, sensible a read more

Such a wife as I want... must be young, handsome I lay most stress upon a good shape, sensible a little learning will do, well-bread, chaste, and tender. As to religion, a moderate stock will satisfy me. She must believe in God and hate a saint.

The woman is the home. That's where she used to be, and that's where she still is. You might ask read more

The woman is the home. That's where she used to be, and that's where she still is. You might ask me, What if a man tries to be part of the home -- will the woman let him? I answer yes. Because then he becomes one of the children.

A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.

A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as read more

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

A beautiful lady is an accident of nature. A beautiful old lady is a work of art.

A beautiful lady is an accident of nature. A beautiful old lady is a work of art.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.