I'm going to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next time.
(after the team's co-captain, offensive read more

I'm going to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next time.
(after the team's co-captain, offensive guard Robert Pratt, pulled a hamstring running onto the field for the coin toss against St. Louis)

You find that you have peace of mind and can enjoy yourself, get more sleep, and rest when you know read more

You find that you have peace of mind and can enjoy yourself, get more sleep, and rest when you know that it was a one hundred percent effort that you gave -- win or lose.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich read more

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

The triple is the most exciting play in baseball. Home runs win a lot of games, but I never understood read more

The triple is the most exciting play in baseball. Home runs win a lot of games, but I never understood why fans are so obsessed with them.

Sports is the toy department of human life.

Sports is the toy department of human life.

There isn't a flaw in his golf or his makeup. He will win more majors than Arnold Palmer and me read more

There isn't a flaw in his golf or his makeup. He will win more majors than Arnold Palmer and me combined. Somebody is going to dust my records. It might as well be Tiger, because he's such a great kid.

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white read more

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.

'Twas Game Six of the Series when out of the sky, Flew Sergio's parachute, a Met banner held high. His read more

'Twas Game Six of the Series when out of the sky, Flew Sergio's parachute, a Met banner held high. His goal was to spur our home team to success, Burst Beantown's balloon claiming Sox were the best.