Men forget everything; women remember everything.

Men forget everything; women remember everything.

Fortunately I know how to counter it, the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a read more

Fortunately I know how to counter it, the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink. The man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition, from the man who did the waking.

I don't take the movies seriously, and anyone who does is in for a headache.

I don't take the movies seriously, and anyone who does is in for a headache.

Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling - frightened read more

Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling - frightened you'll slip away.

The film begins with the title card from an Old Arabian Proverb: And the Prophet said, 'And lo, the beast read more

The film begins with the title card from an Old Arabian Proverb: And the Prophet said, 'And lo, the beast looked upon the face of beauty. And it stayed its hand from killing. And from that day, it was as one dead.'

If I find a film dull, I find it infinitely more entertaining to watch the scratches.

If I find a film dull, I find it infinitely more entertaining to watch the scratches.

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. read more

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause — you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films.

The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films.

That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.