Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean.
(on sportswriters)

Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean.
(on sportswriters)

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father

I don't like this new law, because your first instinct when you see a man on the ground is to read more

I don't like this new law, because your first instinct when you see a man on the ground is to go down on him

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the read more

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.

Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.

He wants Texas back.
(when asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming read more

He wants Texas back.
(when asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations)

Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject.
(recounting what he told a player read more

Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject.
(recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D)

They say that the best defense is offense, and I intend to start offending right now.

They say that the best defense is offense, and I intend to start offending right now.

I couldn't see the ball come off the club for the first 27 holes. It came off the club that read more

I couldn't see the ball come off the club for the first 27 holes. It came off the club that fast.