The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life.

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life.

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages.
You can't divorce a book.

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages.
You can't divorce a book.

The homegrown tomato is best
(in reference to choosing a marriage partner).

The homegrown tomato is best
(in reference to choosing a marriage partner).

Never get married in the morning - you never know who you might meet that night.

Never get married in the morning - you never know who you might meet that night.

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man read more

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll
be happy; if not, you'll read more

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll
be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.