It's funny how most people love the dead, once you're dead your made for life.

It's funny how most people love the dead, once you're dead your made for life.

My situation is a solemn one. Life is offered to me on condition of eating beefsteaks. But death is better read more

My situation is a solemn one. Life is offered to me on condition of eating beefsteaks. But death is better than cannibalism. My will contains directions for my funeral, which will be followed not by mourning coaches, but by oxen, sheep, flocks of poultry, and a small traveling aquarium of live fish, all wearing white scarf's in honor of the man who perished rather than eat his fellow creatures.

Death is the universal salt of states;
Blood is the base of all things--law and war.

Death is the universal salt of states;
Blood is the base of all things--law and war.

A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.

A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.

But whether on the scaffold high,
Or in the battle's van,
The fittest place where man can read more

But whether on the scaffold high,
Or in the battle's van,
The fittest place where man can die
Is where he dies for man.

The idea is to die young as late as possible.

The idea is to die young as late as possible.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with read more

Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Your lost friends are not dead, but gone before,
Advanced a stage or two upon that road
read more

Your lost friends are not dead, but gone before,
Advanced a stage or two upon that road
Which you must travel in the steps they trod.