Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like read more

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them read more

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.