I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story read more

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.