The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when read more

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and read more

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.

For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice.

For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice.

The Old Year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of read more

The Old Year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months!

New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin read more

New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual

New Year's Day is every man's birthday.

New Year's Day is every man's birthday.

Happiness is too many things these days for anyone lo wish il on anyone lightly. So let's just wish each read more

Happiness is too many things these days for anyone lo wish il on anyone lightly. So let's just wish each other a bileless New Year and leave it at that

It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets.

It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets.

The only way to spend New Year’s Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the read more

The only way to spend New Year’s Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears.