Woody Allen

I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: read more

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".