American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be read more

American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be so easily divorced.

Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.

Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.

Sometimes I think [my husband] is so amazing that I don't know why he's with me. I don't know whether read more

Sometimes I think [my husband] is so amazing that I don't know why he's with me. I don't know whether I'm good enough. But if I make him happy, then I'm everything I want to be.

"Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first, and if it read more

"Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first, and if it rings solid, don't hesitate."

There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.

There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.

No, I don't understand my husband's theory of relativity, but I know my husband, and I know he can be read more

No, I don't understand my husband's theory of relativity, but I know my husband, and I know he can be trusted.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.

Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender.

Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender.