Woman was God's second mistake.

Woman was God's second mistake.

Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.

Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.

Patience makes a woman beautiful in middle age.

Patience makes a woman beautiful in middle age.

The awe and dread with which the untutored savage contemplates his mother-in-law are amongst the most familiar facts of anthropology.

The awe and dread with which the untutored savage contemplates his mother-in-law are amongst the most familiar facts of anthropology.

I've had the boyhood thing of being Elvis. Now I want to be with my best friend, and my best read more

I've had the boyhood thing of being Elvis. Now I want to be with my best friend, and my best friend's my wife. Who could ask for anything more?

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that read more

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.

Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that read more

Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.

The family is the nucleus of civilization.

The family is the nucleus of civilization.

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends up blocking his retreat.

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends up blocking his retreat.