There must be some reason why a man must be convinced, while a woman must be persuaded.

There must be some reason why a man must be convinced, while a woman must be persuaded.

If you want to know about a man you can find out an awful lot by looking at who he read more

If you want to know about a man you can find out an awful lot by looking at who he married.

Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that read more

Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.

The surest sign of age is loneliness.

The surest sign of age is loneliness.

I've had the boyhood thing of being Elvis. Now I want to be with my best friend, and my best read more

I've had the boyhood thing of being Elvis. Now I want to be with my best friend, and my best friend's my wife. Who could ask for anything more?

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

The kind of power mothers have is enormous. Take the skyline of Istanbul -- enormous breasts, pathetic little willies, a read more

The kind of power mothers have is enormous. Take the skyline of Istanbul -- enormous breasts, pathetic little willies, a final revenge on Islam. I was so scared I had to crouch in the bottom of the boat when I saw it.

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his read more

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his funny bone.

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do you mean?" read more

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another.".