Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. 'Get out' and 'I never want to see read more

Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. 'Get out' and 'I never want to see you again' might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, 'I love you.... I want to marry you.... I want to have your children.' Sometimes they leave skid marks.

'Why don't you come up sometime 'n see me? I'm home every evening.... Come up. I'll tell your fortune.... Ah, read more

'Why don't you come up sometime 'n see me? I'm home every evening.... Come up. I'll tell your fortune.... Ah, you can be had.'

That old saying, how you always hurt the one you love, well, it works both ways

That old saying, how you always hurt the one you love, well, it works both ways

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take read more

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

If I find a film dull, I find it infinitely more entertaining to watch the scratches.

If I find a film dull, I find it infinitely more entertaining to watch the scratches.

A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it.

A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it.

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. read more

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause — you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

I watched Titanic when I got back home from the hospital, and cried. I knew that my IQ had been read more

I watched Titanic when I got back home from the hospital, and cried. I knew that my IQ had been damaged.

Fortunately I know how to counter it, the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a read more

Fortunately I know how to counter it, the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink. The man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition, from the man who did the waking.