The only reason I don't like playing in the World Series is I can't watch myself play.

The only reason I don't like playing in the World Series is I can't watch myself play.

Back then, my idol was Bugs Bunny, because I saw a cartoon of him playing ball - you know, the read more

Back then, my idol was Bugs Bunny, because I saw a cartoon of him playing ball - you know, the one where he plays every position himself with nobody else on the field but him? Now that I think of it, Bugs is still my idol. You have to love a ballplayer like that.

My potential speaks for itself.
(who finished the year ranked 111 in 1998.)

My potential speaks for itself.
(who finished the year ranked 111 in 1998.)

If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better read more

If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is.

The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flagstick on top.

The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flagstick on top.

Football is violence and cold weather and sex and college rye.

Football is violence and cold weather and sex and college rye.

My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.
(explaining read more

My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.
(explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice, 1982)

I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.

I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.

Don't park in the spaces marked, "Reserved for Umpires.".

Don't park in the spaces marked, "Reserved for Umpires.".