The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night read more

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it.

You can learn little from victory. You can learn everything from defeat.

You can learn little from victory. You can learn everything from defeat.

Baseball is a lot like life. The line drives are caught, the squibbles go for base hits. It's an unfair read more

Baseball is a lot like life. The line drives are caught, the squibbles go for base hits. It's an unfair game.

Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching.

Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching.

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many players read more

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many players on the field?

Fans don't boo nobodies.

Fans don't boo nobodies.

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me read more

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.'

Slump? I ain't in no slump... I just ain't hitting.

Slump? I ain't in no slump... I just ain't hitting.

When I was a small boy growing up in Kansas, a friend of mine and I went fishing and as read more

When I was a small boy growing up in Kansas, a friend of mine and I went fishing and as we sat there in the warmth of a summer afternoon on a riverbank we talked about what we wanted to do when we grew up. I told him that I wanted to be a real major-league baseball player, a genuine professional like Honus Wagner. My friend said that he'd like to be President of the United States. Neither of us got our wish.