They say some of my stars drink whiskey. But I have found that the ones who drink milkshakes don't win read more

They say some of my stars drink whiskey. But I have found that the ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ballgames.

When I was a small boy growing up in Kansas, a friend of mine and I went fishing and as read more

When I was a small boy growing up in Kansas, a friend of mine and I went fishing and as we sat there in the warmth of a summer afternoon on a riverbank we talked about what we wanted to do when we grew up. I told him that I wanted to be a real major-league baseball player, a genuine professional like Honus Wagner. My friend said that he'd like to be President of the United States. Neither of us got our wish.

The guy with the biggest stomach will be the first to take off his shirt at a baseball game.

The guy with the biggest stomach will be the first to take off his shirt at a baseball game.

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night read more

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it.

Slump? I ain't in no slump... I just ain't hitting.

Slump? I ain't in no slump... I just ain't hitting.

Baseball is a lot like life. The line drives are caught, the squibbles go for base hits. It's an unfair read more

Baseball is a lot like life. The line drives are caught, the squibbles go for base hits. It's an unfair game.

Fans don't boo nobodies.

Fans don't boo nobodies.

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many players read more

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many players on the field?

The secret of managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys who are undecided.

The secret of managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys who are undecided.