Two hundred million Americans, and there ain't two good catchers among 'em.

Two hundred million Americans, and there ain't two good catchers among 'em.

Baseball is a lot like life. The line drives are caught, the squibbles go for base hits. It's an unfair read more

Baseball is a lot like life. The line drives are caught, the squibbles go for base hits. It's an unfair game.

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many players read more

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many players on the field?

I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they study this read more

I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.

The guy with the biggest stomach will be the first to take off his shirt at a baseball game.

The guy with the biggest stomach will be the first to take off his shirt at a baseball game.

Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.

Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me read more

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.'

When I played ball, I didn't play for fun... It's no pink tea, and mollycoddles had better stay out. It's read more

When I played ball, I didn't play for fun... It's no pink tea, and mollycoddles had better stay out. It's a contest and everything that implies, a struggle for supremacy, a survival of the fittest.

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night read more

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it.