My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll
be happy; if not, you'll read more

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll
be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

I have always thought that every woman should marry, and no man.

I have always thought that every woman should marry, and no man.

Those who talk most about the blessings of marriage and the
constancy of its vows are the very people read more

Those who talk most about the blessings of marriage and the
constancy of its vows are the very people who declare that if the
chain were broken and the prisoners were left free to choose, the
whole social fabric would fly asunder. You can't have the
argument both ways. If the prisoner is happy, why lock him in?
If he is not, why pretend that he is?

Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.

Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

Marriage is a wonderful invention; but, then again, so is a
bicycle repair kit.

Marriage is a wonderful invention; but, then again, so is a
bicycle repair kit.

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always read more

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them.

The homegrown tomato is best
(in reference to choosing a marriage partner).

The homegrown tomato is best
(in reference to choosing a marriage partner).