Dave Barry

People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.'.

People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.'.

We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were read more

We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing, and what a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while actually producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization.

We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about any wacky thing they tell read more

We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about any wacky thing they tell us, especially if it involves outer space.

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who read more

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look read more

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.