Dave Barry

It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his read more

It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mercedes. Ask about the competence of his mechanic. Don't be shy! After all, you're paying for it.

The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - "to read more

The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - "to spew out paper."

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how read more

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.

If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer read more

If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows.

What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any read more

What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a 'modem', can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo