George Carlin

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is read more

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his read more

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to read more

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to form my own opionions.

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.