George Carlin

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is read more

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can read more

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this read more

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.