Woody Allen

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: read more

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite read more

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve
it through not dying.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve
it through not dying.