There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.

There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.

Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.

I used to tell my husband that, if he could make me 'understand' something, it would be clear to all read more

I used to tell my husband that, if he could make me 'understand' something, it would be clear to all the other people in the country.

"Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first, and if it read more

"Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first, and if it rings solid, don't hesitate."

It's a wise husband who will buy his wife such fine china that she won't trust him to wash the read more

It's a wise husband who will buy his wife such fine china that she won't trust him to wash the dishes

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes.

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.