"Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first, and if it read more

"Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first, and if it rings solid, don't hesitate."

You can have all the intelligence in the world and don't have enough stamina. I have seen some very bright, read more

You can have all the intelligence in the world and don't have enough stamina. I have seen some very bright, bright women who do not have the stamina for husbands.

American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be read more

American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be so easily divorced.

Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended.

Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.

His purity was too great, his aspiration too high for this poor, miserable world! His great soul is now only read more

His purity was too great, his aspiration too high for this poor, miserable world! His great soul is now only enjoying that for which it was worthy!

Some pray to marry the man they love, my prayer will somewhat vary; I humbly pray to Heaven above that read more

Some pray to marry the man they love, my prayer will somewhat vary; I humbly pray to Heaven above that I love the man I marry.

It's a wise husband who will buy his wife such fine china that she won't trust him to wash the read more

It's a wise husband who will buy his wife such fine china that she won't trust him to wash the dishes