"Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first, and if it read more

"Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first, and if it rings solid, don't hesitate."

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.

Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.

Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.

American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be read more

American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be so easily divorced.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open

Sometimes I think [my husband] is so amazing that I don't know why he's with me. I don't know whether read more

Sometimes I think [my husband] is so amazing that I don't know why he's with me. I don't know whether I'm good enough. But if I make him happy, then I'm everything I want to be.

It's a wise husband who will buy his wife such fine china that she won't trust him to wash the read more

It's a wise husband who will buy his wife such fine china that she won't trust him to wash the dishes

Our society is set up so that most women lose their identities when their husbands die.

Our society is set up so that most women lose their identities when their husbands die.

There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.

There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.