Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got.

Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got.

Sex is a momentary itch, love never lets you go

Sex is a momentary itch, love never lets you go

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex

Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.