What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

life is the most common disease transmissible through sex

life is the most common disease transmissible through sex

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex

Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex

There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.

There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.