Dave Barry

Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management read more

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My read more

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!'

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that read more

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.