Dave Barry

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and read more

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who read more

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat read more

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to read more

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.

A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer

A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer