Dave Barry

And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to read more

And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)

People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.'.

People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.'.

If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer read more

If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows.

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that read more

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and read more

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks