George Carlin

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his read more

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.