George Carlin

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is read more

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams read more

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams it on the head of the person who lost the most money that day

I don't have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.

I don't have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-.

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck